Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome

Aided by the secrecy of the Internet and cellphones, extra-marital affairs are on the rise-and Christian couples aren't exempt. While cheating on one's spouse may still be socially unacceptable, it is more prevalent now than ever before. From a woman who strayed to the other side of the marital fence, and returned to find forgiveness and restoration-comes this book about predicting and preventing an extra-marital affair. Based on the principle that the grass is always greener where it's watered, this book focuses on how to grow a beautiful marriage in your own backyard by establishing six protective "hedges" around it.

Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome by Nancy C. Anderson is an important book addressing the dreadful reality of adultery. Even Christian marriages are at risk for falling prey to this scourge. The book is based on Mark 12:1: “A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it.”

In Part one of this book, Mrs. Anderson shares the painful experience of an affair that she had in the early years of her marriage. She shares how she felt neglected by her husband,and when she was tempted by advances from a co-worker, she gave in and her marriage almost ended tragically. But God intervened, she repented, and her husband was able to forgive her. She shares this experience and teaches strategies for protecting yourself from infidelity.

Nancy Anderson and her husband, happily married now for twenty-six years, conduct retreats and seminars nationwide that teach six principles that can be used to protect a marriage from external invaders and internal discontent.

In the second part of the book, Anderson explains these six principles to strengthen a relationship and protect it: Building Hedges by Hearing, Encouraging, Dating, Guarding, Educating, and Satisfying. In six chapters, she teaches lessons and gives pointers for improving the marriage. Each chapter ends with “things to think about” and “things to do.” All use scripture to reinforce the ideas. This is a book of painful honesty, straight from the heart of a woman who obviously cares about marriage, and wants to guard others from the heartbreak her marriage suffered. It is realistic and yet light enough to be readable. It provides a much-needed discourse on a difficult subject in the church. I recommend this book for couples who are planning to marry, and to any young couple who find themselves struggling in their marriage relationship. The book would make a good study guide to use for a couples Sunday school class or a home fellowship group. – Elece Hollis, Christian Book Previews.com

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Reviewed by Michelle (Arizona), November 12, 2007

Here is what the acronym HEDGES stands for... Hearing, Encouraging, Dating, Guarding, Educating Satisfying. The author uses these topics as an outline for her tips on how to keep your marriage healthy so your spouse doesn't stray. Even for couples who are doing well, there are invaluable tips in this book. Some of them may seem obvious, but at the same time it's amazing how the absence of those things in marriage make Christian couples vulnerable to straying. I've known many people in this situation over the years and the practical advice the author gives would do wonders for most relationships if applied. The vignettes the author uses are illustrations from her own life experience. She uses them to bring the point she is trying to make to the forefront. Each section ends with highlights from the chapter and practical things to apply, plus some questions to consider about your marital relationship. This book would make a great tool for a couples Bible study or self-help support group. I highly recommend this resource to every married couple. I found it incredibly interesting, well-written, and not complex or overly-wordy. In fact, I read it in just a few hours.

Reviewed by Donna J. Shepherd (Ohio, USA), April 06, 2005

Nancy C. Anderson writes about a confusing time in her life with such vulnerability, she draws the reader in. She shows how being out of the will of God brought her nothing but heartache, and then takes us through her journey from chaos to the cure. Her practical tips and spiritual insights inspire her readers to work on their own relationships. Recommended reading whether struggling in your marriage or you want to make a good thing better!

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Author: Nancy C. Anderson
Located in: Huntington Beach, CA
Submitted: January 03, 2005

    Tell us a little about yourself.  I live in Southern California with my husband of 26 years and our teenage son. I’ve been writing and speaking about women’s issues for almost 20 years. My husband and I teach the principles in this book at couples seminars and retreats. We recently talked about our marriage on the Montel Williams television show.

    What was your motivation behind this project?  I want other Christian couples to know that the grass is not greener on the other side of the marital fence. If they water their own marriages with the information found in this book, they can have a beautiful oasis in their own backyard.

    What do you hope folks will gain from this project?  I want your marriage to be enlightened, encouraged, and empowered as you read this book. For those with troubled relationships, it will give you solid steps to freedom, and if you have a good relationship, it will give you creative ways to make it great. My story, as a prodigal wife who returned home to find forgiveness and restoration, is a springboard for the broader issues of marriage such as how to build, or rebuild trust, romance, tenderness, and friendship.

    Anything else you'd like readers / listeners to know:  If you want to know how to predict, prevent or pardon infidelity, from a Biblical viewpoint, this is the book for you.

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