A theological explanation for Voddie Baucham's suitor requirements, as well as a collection of practical advice, What He Must Be... is organized around the five "musts" of what any Christian man should be before getting married. Hitting two sides of the coin, this book is designed to be a manual for readying fathers and daughters, as well as a manual for training sons to become men worthy of marrying. He spends time addressing the importance of marriage for Christians; the need for fathers to become patriarchs willing to be sensitive to-and protective of-their daughters; the dangers of feminism; ways to lead selflessly and with love; the importance of valuing children as a blessing; and a number of other elements crucial to a successful courtship and marriage. 213 pages, softcover.
Average Rating: 5 out of 5 stars(5 out of 5 stars)
6 of 6 Reviews Showing:
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Mitchell Neal (Sharpsburg, GA), November 02, 2009
We as parents need to have higher expatiation for there future spouses. This book helps to have a Biblical Few of that.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Laura Monroy (Tacoma, WA), October 10, 2009
I have come to trust Voddie in his theological soundness and this book is another fine example of how he reaches out to us laymen and explains what the bible has to say about courtship and marriage insted of tradition or past tried and failed paths.
This is the third book of his that I have read and his style is personal and intimate while being very clear and concise on how biblical principals aply. He is faithful to point out falsities' of some translations and common mistakes of taking verses out of context.
This book is a great addition to his books "Family Driven Faith" and "Ever Loving Truth" that stress the need for Christian families to get back into the drivers seat of discipling their children in order to instill the importance of multi-generational faithfulness.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Heather (Coweta,OK), July 31, 2009
The marriage of our daughters is a very important topic. It's worth our time to evaluate our expectations for a future son-in-law and be in prayer that God will send the right man at the right time.
Voddie Baucham addresses how to do this in his book What He Must Be . . .if he wants to marry my daughter. His book will provide a list of qualities that will allow you to determine if a man if worthy and capable of leading and loving your daughter for the rest of her life.
This is more than just a parenting book though. This is wisdom and instruction for men to step it up and be worthy of the wives they've pledged their love to. What He Must Be . . . if he wants to marry my daughter is manly guidance to Dads to set the example for what their daughters should look for in a man.
Baucham holds to a biblical view, and not a cultural view. He even follows that biblical view to the point of challenging his own beliefs of what a husband looks like. His commitment to what the word says is unwavering and admirable.
What He Must Be . . .if he wants to marry my daughter is encouragement and instruction for parents. It is a push toward a biblically-defined family. What He Must Be. . .if he wants to marry my daughter provides wisdom for finding your daughter a God-ordained husband, inspiration for fathers and a checklist for raising a godly son.
I'll probably never get this book back from my husband. He has already read and claimed this book (and even made a spot for it on his book shelf).
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Jennifer (Canada), July 04, 2009
Far more than a simplistic check-list that potential suitors must go through to achieve paternal approval, Baucham has written a mini-apologetic for marriage, biblical manhood, and yes – courtship, within one accessible volume.
While the standards he presents are rarely found in young men today, Baucham’s list is not pulled from personal preference or flights of fancy. Each of his listed qualifications is pulled directly from the pages of scripture, as the Word of God explains what husbands should, and must be if they are to follow the call of God on their lives.
Working through the importance of marriage between believers, male leadership, sacrificial love, welcoming children, and a young man’s potential to serve as priest, prophet, and provider to his wife, Baucham carefully builds an image of what these latent traits may look like in a single young man, drawing from scripture, biographies of notable Christian men, and the words of church fathers. He both debunks false requirements for potential mates (most notably ethnicity and heritage) and encourages fathers to undertake disciplining potential suitors in the required skills new husbands will need if they are found lacking.
I can’t recommend What He Must Be more highly. Written primarily to fathers I can easily see families with children approaching marriageable age digging into this together and catching a collective vision for the future.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by John Wood (Irving, TX), March 14, 2009
This book is a must read for every parent. It does not take a genius to figure out that the current cultural model of dating is devastating our children. Many of our own lives bear the scars of our culture's divorce preparation also known as "dating". It is only by the grace of God and in spite of ourselves, our culture and our past that many of us have marriages that remotely resemble the relationship between Christ and the Church.
So what is a parent to do? In a culture that has bought into the pagan based ideas of romantic love this book brings to light the biblical pattern for a godly man and calls parents to accept nothing less. In clear practical language Dr. Baucham outlines both the text of scripture and paints a real world picture of what God's standard for men looks like.
This book will challenge every man to examine his own life to see how he measures up to the standard of God. It is truly humbling to read these pages and see where I fall woefully short. However, like any good shepherd Dr. Baucham points us to Jesus who stands ready to forgive if we are truly repentant and will empower us to become the men he intended.
Regardless of whether you are raising sons or daughters the truths outlined in this book are essential. For parents of sons it will challenge you to think through your preconceived notions and step up for the sake of both your son and his future family. For those raising daughters it will raise the call in your life to partner with your daughter and God to fulfill your biblical role in her life and courtship.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Shaun Tabatt (Cottage Grove, MN), March 14, 2009
Ask Voddie Baucham how to best prepare for leadership and ministry and he may tell you to get married and have children. You may be wondering what that has to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. The answer is that it has everything to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. This book is directed at Christian parents, especially fathers. As followers of Christ it is the father’s duty to lead and minister in his own home first. If you aren’t sure what this looks like, you may want to consider for yourself the qualities Voddie suggests we should be looking for in our daughter’s future husband and instilling in our sons who will most likely be husbands themselves some day.
The first part of the book lays the groundwork for the vision and thought behind these counter-cultural ideas. Chapter one expresses the need for fathers to have a Christ-centered multi generational vision that extends to the children, grandchildren and beyond. Chapter two describes marriage as a ministry, explaining how marriage is a fertile training ground for future church leaders as the Christian marriage illustrates the relationship of Christ and the church to a lost and hurting world. Chapter three explains a father’s role as he exercises gospel patriarchy.
Chapters four through eight lay out the qualities we should be looking for in our daughters potential suitors and instilling in our own sons. Chapter nine discusses the importance of protecting our daughter’s purity, heart, focus, future spouse, and hope. Chapter ten talks about the importance of raising our own sons to be Godly men and describes how our influence as fathers will influence our daughter’s choice of potential suitors. The conclusion offers some thoughts on the issue of ethnicity in relation to marriage and children.
If you’re a father, I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of What He Must Be …if he wants to marry my daughter.
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