Does the church overwhelm mothers with a message of impossible idealism---and false guilt? Are Christian moms expected to tirelessly emulate the Proverbs 31 woman and June Cleaver? With jarring honesty, Barnhill challenges unrealistic attitudes and reminds you that your ultimate worth lies in your relationship with God. Filled with real-life accounts. 190 pages, softcover from Baker.
What happens when the very faith community to which a confused and overwhelmed
mother turns for help contributes to her depressed state by preaching a
message of impossible idealism? Barnhill, editor of Christian Parenting Today,
bravely tackles some ingrained perceptions and attitudes toward motherhood
within the evangelical Christian subculture. Based on sound research and the
stories of more than 50 women surveyed, her book compiles a compelling case
for re-evaluating and exploring the myths of motherhood. When churches elevate
the role of motherhood, and family life in general, to "a position of
importance that is out of synch with the call of the gospel," women struggle
"with the incongruity between who God created them to be and who the church
tells them they should be." Addressing such key topics as depression among
mothers, disciplining children, the importance of work and the need for
relationships, Barnhill finds her strength in the personal anecdotes peppered
throughout the book. Her writing is well-informed, honest and engaging, but
could be fine-tuned at points. Although she briefly mentions some practical
suggestions for churches and ministers, like starting up a Bible study for
mothers with childcare included, the book could benefit from additional advice
on how best to change the distorted theology she so successfully identifies.
(Sept.) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
Average Rating: 3 out of 5 stars(3 out of 5 stars)
8 of 8 Reviews Showing:
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Lisa Stirratt (Bloomington, MN), June 09, 2009
This has been the most freeing book I have ever read about motherhood. A veil has been lifted from my spirit as I am beginning to believe, thanks to this book, that my life is not over with 3 young kids. I don't have to put myself on hold right now and I don't have to listen to the closed view of so many of my Christian friends who believe that every Christian family should look and function a certain way. This book has caused me to look deep within myself and ask, "what do I need, not just to be a better mom, but for myself, as a daughter of the Most High God?" "In what ways does God want to use my gifts in the larger community and not just with my kids?" I am no longer letting my fears for my kids' safety and my fears of being a 'failed' parent keep me from seeking God and where he's bringing.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Caryn (Elmhurst, IL), November 08, 2008
Real quick: This is probably the top one or two books on mothering out there. You would have to have a heart of stone or a god-like view of yourself not to appreciate what Carla (the "authoress") gives us in this book.
I have no idea how the earlier reviews can call the authorita scripturally ignorant or bitter or whatever mean things they said. Geez.
The only thing Baker did wrong (and I say this with love) is take it out of print. EVERY MOM should read this book.
4 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by MB (Illinois), April 02, 2008
I have just started to read this book and I have mixed feelings about what I have read so far. The book doesn't take all of scripture into account but that doesn't mean that it doesn't use some scripture in proper context. I have read the Bible from beginning to end and I agree with the author’s assessment that many of the “myths” being propagated in Christian circles are not supported by any scripture that I have come across. This has been something I have prayed and searched for in scriptures for many years now. This book shows that though some women may feel natural about motherhood others struggle with it for good reason. I have observed this with many of the mothers I have encountered, including my own, and I think it does women everywhere a disservice to simply disregard these feelings and categorize them as sinful. With that said, I do feel that the author goes too far in the opposite direction by diminishing and ignoring the blessing that is offered by having children. Many times God uses the analogy of us as children when he wants to illustrate His love and care for us, so having children is no ordinary task. It is a great responsibility that God so generously trusts some of us with. I feel that the author may be missing that aspect of it. In any case, I definitely think that this book is worth reading, thinking about, and discussing. Women should be supporting and encouraging each other, especially if they are struggling with motherhood, not making each other feel bad for not sharing the same opinion. My perception is that people who have a strong negative reaction to this book are being very judgmental and not considering that though they may not struggle with with these feelings, there are many others who may and they need someone’s encouragement. Let's hold one another up especially if we see someone struggling. Maybe all they need is your encouragement.
4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Sara (Sacramento, A), March 28, 2008
This book was extremely insightful, challenging and gives you as a mom and Christian a lot to think about. It is inspiring and challenges me to find a way to use my skills and gifts beyond the home to reach others without neglecting my family. If you enjoy expanding your world and thinking outside the box, this book is for you. If you are stuck in your ways and think your way is the only way - don't buy it.
0 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Mom B (Iowa), March 26, 2008
There is little scripture to support the author's premises and what is used is taken out of context. It is a pathetic book and Baker should be embarrassed they published this for Christian moms. An elementary reading of scripture would expose the authoress as scripturally ignorant. I guess that doesn't say much for Baker's editorial reviewing either. Sad.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Darla Doak (Washington, PA), February 21, 2008
Every mother should read this book, and grandmothers too. There is freedom to follow the lead of the Lord for your life, and not be stuck in "tradition". Your children benefit more from you being obedient to God.
The book has been discontinued, but there are still copies out there. Do yourself a favor, get one, and read it. You won't be sorry.
0 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Betty Sue Clanton (Casper, WY), February 07, 2008
This book was very disappointing. I was expecting a book I could share with Mothers who need a lift but I will not share this book. I'm sorry I bought 4. It was a waste of my money.
0.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Crystal (Carson City NV), February 05, 2008
This is a book written by a cynical, hurt person with an inferiority complex. I give a grain of salt that she is writing of her own experiences, but she uses it to make blanket statements that are not accurate nor helpful. If you are looking for a whiny worldly justification to not have more children, read this book! There's a time to acknowledge your own choices and circumstances, and quit blaming everyone else for them.
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