Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom from Unhealthy Patterns

Learn why we so often get stuck in regret, how it impacts our relationships, and how we can move forward into emotional and spiritual freedom! In this hope-filled guide, best-selling author and New Life Live! host Arterburn will help you release what was and focus on the path of what is and what still can be. 240 pages, hardcover from Bethany.

Arterburn, author of 60-plus books, this times turns his heart and mind to helping readers deal with regret, “one of the biggest inhibitors to living the life God most wants you to live.” He readily admits his own regrets (girlfriend's terminated pregnancy, failed marriage) as he honestly and pointedly guides readers toward a life of peace, patience and self-control. Arterburn first addresses the signs of an unhealthy relationship, moves on to how to admit the need for help and then to acknowledge one's own part in problems. His trademark humor and honesty make the responsibility pill easier to swallow as he leads readers toward knowing how to withdraw from conflict, keep dignity intact and get rid of baggage of the past. Forgiveness, says Arterburn, is “the essential ingredient to living a regret-free life,” and he coaches readers on how to reach that point. Arterburn fans new and longtime will find more useful life lessons here, always pointing to God, who is “showing us our path along a magnificent, God-centered, regret-free life.” (Oct.) Copyright 2009 Reed Business Information.

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Reviewed by Carrie McCoy (Mountain Home AFB, Idaho), November 10, 2009

As a Christian Counselor, Stephen Arterburn offers help in the area of relationships. His newest book, Regret-Free Living, is a great resource for those with unhealthy relationships. We all have them. Whether it is a co-worker, family member, or spouse, we are involved in a relationship that doesn't feel right. Arterburn begins by discussing the "markers of defective relationships (p. 23)" by helping you identify what it is that is creating the unhealthy patterns in your relationships. Whether it's putting yourself first, secrecy, or resentment to name a few, the reader can put themselves in thought as to what is wrong in their failing relationship. From there, the author helps the reader to admit their mistakes and how to fix the situation. "Living a regret-free life means being honest about everything you did to help create regrets and honest about how you felt when someone else was hurtful to you (p.93)." A person must turn to God for help so that person can be honest and face their mistakes. Sometimes, though, it seems as though the relationship is not getting better. You've tried everything and it's not going forward. "Not all important relationships, however, will transform for the better; sometimes one of the people is simply not willing to do the work. But before you give up, be sure that you do put forth the effort to make that relationship all that it could be (p.98)." Then the author adds, "if it does end, and you can't fix it, then you'll want to know, for the rest of your life, that you did everything you could to make it right (p.99-99). Eventually, you'll just have to "let it go. Recognize when it's over and let it die the natural death it should (p.102). Admittedly, I have relationships of my own that need mending or repairing. This book has helped answer some very important questions I've had in my life in regards to certain relationships. I will definitely keep in on my bookshelf for reference in the future.

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