Our small, weak minds so easily forget that God is sovereign—all knowing and in control. He designed marriage, and He declared that it was not good for Adam to be alone. We see in Scripture that God actually had someone “appointed” for Isaac (Genesis 24:14). God knows everything, and He is never surprised. He does not look at a single woman and say, “I wonder whom she will marry? I hope it works.” Rather, if we are traveling on God's road, seeking to honor Him, each of us can marry His best choice. The world is completely mistaken! Finding God's perfect someone is not a matter of chance but rather is a result of faith.
How a courting couple views commitment is one of the greatest distinctions between courting and dating. With dating, couples try out a relationship to see how it works. They assume that they will really get to know each other while sitting at a romantic dinner, flirting, looking their best, and playing footsies under the table. That process is deeply flawed, because once emotional attachment begins, objectivity greatly diminishes. Couples truly do not get to know each other through typical dating. It is therefore understandable why commitment is so difficult.
When my husband and I decided to court, we found that the courting process actually fueled our commitment. Initially, we were solid friends who had been watching each other for months. I noticed that he was kind, respectful, and unselfish and that his conduct reflected a desire to serve God and others. To be content with such a good man, whom I trusted and knew so well as a friend, was not difficult but natural.
While courting, my husband and I implemented four basic principles for our relationship: Commitment, Accountability, Rejection of the world's dating philosophy, and Establishing physical boundaries to protect purity (CARE). These principles allowed us to worship God in our choices as we moved toward marriage. Though my own parents were separated, I knew that divorce would not be in our future.
Young people need to consider what kind of foundation their marriage will be built upon. It seems that more and more Christians are finding themselves heartbroken and disillusioned. This is neither God's will nor His plan. He has created a clear path for us to follow if we simply will trust in Him and place our hearts in His care. True love is founded in faith.
Christina Rogers was homeschooled from grade 2 all the way through high school. Christina Rogers is an Associate of the Royal Conservatory of Toronto in speech and drama. Christina and her husband live in Alberta, Canada, with their three young children. She is the author of the new book, Leave Dating Behind: A Road Map to Marriage, published by Ambassador Emerald (www.emeraldhouse.com).
©2008 The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC
This article originally appeared in the Summer 2008 issue of The Old
Schoolhouse® Magazine, LLC
Reprinted with permission from the publisher.