5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son
Vicki Courtney
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Whether your sons are in kindergarten or college, it's always best to tell them the truth before they believe contemporary culture's lies! Encouraging you to keep communication open, Courtney helps you address what it means to be a godly man; guide your boys to cultivate self-discipline; speak candidly about the dangers of premarital sex; and offers ways to best communicate across different stages of development. Paperback.
     

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 Vicki Courtney is founder of Virtuous Reality Ministries, producing online content and hosting events across the United States for preteen and teen girls and their parents. She is the best-selling author of 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter and Your Girl as well as the ECPA Christian Book Award winners TeenVirtue and TeenVirtue Confidential. Vicki lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and their three children.


 
Some people may think of you as an author who writes to the moms of daughters, yet you actually have one daughter and two sons. What are three distinctions about your relationship with your sons compared to your relationship with your daughter?
My sons are more apt to see past my flaws. There is a natural tension that exists between mothers and daughters in the teen years that I didn’t really experience with my sons. Interestingly, my sons are more outward in their expressions of affection than my daughter. Whether they offer a spontaneous, “Mom, I love you,” or occasionally put their arm around me (even in public!), it still melts my heart. My daughter shows affection by initiating more frequent contact (she’s in college) by calling and texting. My sons are also more accepting of advice, especially when it comes to matters related to dealing with the opposite sex (perhaps because I’m one of 'em!).
In Conversations with Your Son you raise five different topics that moms should address with their sons. Are these conversations that moms can have with school age children as well as teens? What age range does the book cover?
The back cover text claims, "From the cradle to college, tell your son the truth about life before he believes the culture’s lies." The book is written for mothers with sons 0-18. The premise behind the conversations is that they be initiated early (some earlier than others) and talked about often over the years. Obviously, some should be deferred until the pre-teen years, but most are applicable at some level from pre-school on as the book encourages moms to be proactive rather than reactive to many of the challenges their sons will face.
You are about to begin the last year of having your youngest son home with you before he heads off to college. For moms whose sons may be younger, do you have any suggestions for how to cultivate time with their sons while they are still at home?
The timing of when this book will release is rather surreal. My youngest son will walk across the graduation stage the month it releases. I am blessed to have an extremely close relationship with both of my sons – there is little we haven't talked about. I took advantage of teachable moments along the way and did a lot of "talking on the run." Most importantly, we had fun and laughed a lot. I did my best to cultivate a climate in our home where they felt comfortable talking to me and/or my husband about anything.
Moms play an immeasurable role in the lives of their sons, but there’s certainly a great need for dads to be involved as well. Although 5 Conversations with Your Son is written specifically for moms, what suggestions do you have for dads to cultivate these conversations with their sons?
At the end of each "conversation," I offer tips of how dads can reinforce the conversations discussed in the book both in word and deed. I actually surveyed moms and asked them what their husbands were doing to encourage godly principles in their sons' lives.
What do you hope will be different about their relationships with their sons for the moms who read 5 Conversations with Your Son?
My greatest hope and prayer for the book is that moms would recognize the important role they play in the lives of their sons and start talking! Gone are the days where dads talked to sons and moms talked to daughters. Times are tough and we need all hands on deck when it comes to raising our kids to be counter-culture.

 

Posted 12/6/2010