Excerpt

 Who Do I Lean On? Discussion Questions: Neta Jackson

1.   In Chapter 6, Gabby's lawyer, Lee Boyer, tells her the House of Hope idea, while noble, doesn't seem like a wise use of her inheritance money while she's in the middle of a custody case and possible divorce. What do you think--is she being impetuous? Acting in faith? How can we tell the difference in our own lives?

2.   In the same chapter, Mabel Turner says, "If this [House of Hope] is God's idea, then it's going to happen. God's timing is perfect. You don't have to rush it." How do we know when something is "God's idea"? If we run into roadblocks, how do we know when that's the work of Satan trying to stop it and we should press on--or God allowing circumstances to show us it's our idea, not His?
 

3.   In Chapter 17, what did Mabel mean when she says it's not enough to "believe in God," you have to "believe God"? What would it mean for you to believe God for something in your life situation today?
 

4.   Do you think Gabby contributed to the downfall of her marriage as Mabel suggested in Chapter 18? Why or why not? Why does Gabby have such a difficult time hearing what Mabel said? How do you understand Mabel's apology in Chapter 23? Do you think "taking responsibility" for mutual problems in a marriage helps or hinders when one is dealing with emotional abuse?
 

5.   In Chapter 27, Gabby offered one of the available apartments in the House of Hope to Josh and Edesa Baxter before talking it over with Precious and Tanya (to whom she'd already promised the two apartments). In what way was she "leaning on her own understanding" (see Prov. 3:5, 6)? Now she's in a bind! . . . What are the implications for Josh and Edesa if she tells them they can't move in after all? for Tanya and Precious if they do? for Gabby either way?

6.   Are you sometimes tempted to "run ahead of God" with your good ideas? What kind of pitfalls have you fallen into?

7.   Gabby's solution to the above fiasco: "Suddenly it seemed simple: Just own up to my mistake. Start over." How would Gabby's solution help in your situation?

8.   Why do you think Gabby held back from telling her sons the stark, bald truth when P.J. implied that his mom was the one who "moved out" (Chapter 28)? Do you agree with her reasoning for not vilifying Philip? How would you have responded in that instance?
 

9.   Do you think Gabby did the right thing "not making a big honking deal" out of P.J.'s negative attitude toward Jermaine? (Chapter 32) What is she hoping to accomplish? How would you handle a similar situation?

10.  Gabby gradually changed her prayers from praying about Philip to praying for him. In Chapter 32, she said, "It was hard to be angry with someone I was praying for." Is there someone you're angry with right now? Have you thought about praying for this person (not just about him or her)? What would your prayer be for this person?

11.  On her date with Lee Boyer in Chapter 34, Gabby was starting to "sense God everywhere." Has that happened to you? Where or when was the last time an experience or place made you actively aware of God or spiritual reality (outside of church or reading your Bible)?
 

12.  When Gabby attended the Yada Yada Prayer Group in Chapter 37, Chanda challenged her about her relationship with Lee while still married to Philip. What do you think about the way Avis handled the awkward situation? How would you have handled that situation? What do you think about Gabby's relationship with Lee?

13.   After Philip is mugged and ends up in the hospital, do you believe he is sincere when he asks Gabby to forgive him? Why or why not? If you were Gabby, how would you have responded to the choice Lee presented to her at the hospital?

14.  Do you think there is any hope for Gabby and Philip's marriage in the future? What would you like to see happen with Philip? With Lee? Why?

15.  What are your thoughts and feelings about emotional abuse in marriage? How can sisters support one another when some form of emotional abuse takes place in a marriage? How can the church be more active in addressing this often hidden problem?