Your Man, Your Priority
“Hey, hon, you want to meet for coffee?” My husband eagerly anticipated an impromptu date. The pouring rain had put his construction site on hold.
“Umm, sure, we can do coffee.” I tried to sound enthusiastic, but my to-do list was haunting me. I was on my way to drop Kerry off for camp, pick up my printing, then head home for a long list of chores which included getting ready for vacation in six days.
After I dropped off Kerry my husband called back. “Hey, can you come early for coffee?” The rain had stopped and he was ready to get as much done as he could before the rain returned. I let him know I understood and we could skip our coffee date. I was relieved but felt a pang of guilt.
I had established my to-do list as priority over my husband. There was nothing on my list that could not wait while I had coffee with my husband. What about the “living in the moment” epiphany I had that morning about my daughter? Shouldn’t that apply to my husband? I hate to admit it, but I assume we will always have plenty of time together. Right? No. Life is terribly unpredictable as two of my widowed-too-young friends will tell you. One lost her husband to cancer, the other to a car accident. Both men were in their 40’s.
The thing is I say Gene is my priority, but the reality is he is my priority during the hours I have allotted for him. I selfishly claim the time he is at work as my time to do my stuff. Gene never tries to interrupt my plans and is always respectful of my schedule. He just wanted a fun, spontaneous coffee date with his wife, but she couldn’t see past her to-do list to see what really mattered—her man.
Today was my chance to practice what I preach. While in town this morning running errands, I called Gene to see if he could do an impromptu lunch date. But his work had taken him to a nearby town for the day. One these days we’ll get the timing right, because we’ve made each other our priority.
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